What started as IDC (Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma) in 2011, then turned into CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) in 2013, probably partially caused by chemotherapy along with a genetic pre-disposition. Here we are now in March 2016 and I am newly diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in the left breast and liver (LMBC - liver metastasized breast cancer).

So the focus has shifted yet again, BUT... I continue to THANK YOU for your prayers, love & support. I receive them with open & loving arms. My wish is that I will gain strength from you, will provide helpful information and strength to others & will help to strip away the fears we each experience.

I am strong. I am loved. I am healthy. I WILL SURVIVE!

Have you or your loved one had their annual mammogram? PLEASE, don't put it off. Speaking from experience, I highly recommend monthly self exam as well. And if you are now cancer free of breast cancer, do everything you can to insist that your doctors follow up with an occasional PET Scan and labs for tumor markers.

Contents may be uplifting, sad, funny, scary, downright depressing ~ THAT IS CANCER .... at it's best, at its worst.

PLEASE ~ Feel free to share this blog with anyone who is interested to learn about my journey. While I welcome their support, I hope that by sharing this experience freely to the universe I may help to support others by breaking down some of the barriers and fear associated with breast cancer and the treatment.


Friday, October 27, 2017

The Scar Project

This is Shannon Montgomery. She is a brave and courageous young woman battling Triple Negative breast cancer, and this is her story.

Shannon is also a member of The Scar Project.
The SCAR Project is a series of large scale portraits of young breast cancer survivors shot by photographer David Jay. On the surface an awareness raising campaign for young women, The SCAR Project's deeper message is one of humanity. Ultimately, The SCAR Project is not about breast cancer, but the human condiditon itself; the images transcend the disease, illuminating the scars that unite us all.
 My heart goes out to all the brave and courageous people battling many types of breast cancer

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on FacebookRavelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and TwitterJust click the word above to go there

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Great CT Scan News & A Very Long October

This is October, which is Breast Cancer Awarenwss Month, a time when I’m usually helping to promote this on my blog. Well this month has gotten away from me for many reasons, the most being the recent horrific and catastrophic firestorm in California history right in my neighborhood. The good news is that we are fine and our home and property spared. But no so for our lovely hamlet of Glen Ellen, and many neighborhoods nearby in Sonoma County, as well as neighboring Napa County. 

But that is a story for another day when landlines and WiFi are restored and I can return to using my desktop computer keyboard, rather than my tiny cell phone.

But this good news I must share NOW!

Did you know that in March 2016 the first CT scan I had when diagnosed with Mets showed the largest liver lesion at 4.1 cm which is equal to 41 mm. Well my lastest CT of a few days ago shows great improvements since that fateful day 20 months ago. It shows that largest lesion  just went from 14 mm to 12 from 2 months ago. So in  20 months I am down from 41 mm. to 12 mm. That is significant!!! 🤗🙏🏼👍

Now if the atibiotics will work quickly on this chest cold turned into bronchitis, I will be a happy camper.

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on FacebookRavelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and TwitterJust click the word above to go there

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Its About Time MBC

Did you know....

20% TO 30% OF PEOPLE initially diagnosed with early stage breast cancer will develop metastatic breast cancer.

Metastatic Breast Cancer can occur ANYTIME after a person's original breast cancer diagnosis.

Only around 7% of breast cancer research funding is specifically allotted to finding a cure for metastatic breast cancer. 



By bringing awareness to this subject through my blog, I can only hope that future research will eventually find a way to prevent breast cancer before it even begins. Wouldn’t that just be the best thing ever.

Filling my life with love, laughter, family & friends!
~ Peace and Love ~

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on Facebook, Ravelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and Twitter. Just click the word above to go there.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

The Eclipse of a Lifetime & a Great Road Trip

The road trip of a lifetime...  17 days, with dear friends, hitting almost all new campgrounds to us; amazing and fun times.

It all started out a little rough, as we had only been home from Kauai for 3 days. That did not allow for much prep time on the trailer and packing food, etc. Then we found a mouse family had gotten into the lower drawers of the trailer so that all had to be removed cleaned and disinfected; all items washed and returned. Yay! 

I had my check up with my oncologist on Tuesday, and all was good. We will do a CT Scan in October., and so I am anticipating that now in about a month. We talked about some of the issues I've had with the Xeloda and he has some ideas how to get around it and stay on this chemo a bit longer, if my body continues to tolerate it and the cancer is still kept at bay. So I headed out to shop for groceries for the trip, over-bought as usual, and returned to load it all up and get everything in order. Mind you, Mark had been working his fingers to the bone these three days to get the truck and trailer all loaded up, the kayaking gear, extract the mice, or so we thought, etc.

Wednesday, August 9th, we head out in our cozy little home on wheels and drive to Sonoma to meet up with the Merritts. First stop was Battle Creek Campground outside of hot Mineral, CA, and just inside of Lassen National Park. We've been there a few times and it is a great one-nighter and stop-over as we are getting going on the road trip. 

Wouldn't you know that I would come down with a cold, stuffed up head the night before leaving. So the next three days I ran a fever of up to 100.5. That may sound pretty low, but for someone on chemo, it was alarming. The fever finally broke by day 3 (spending those days making our way for a night in Lava Beds NP and then on to Lake of the Woods, OR). Thank goodness. But then that first morning at Lake of the Woods, I was stung by a bee on the very back side of my right upper arm. Those that know me, understand that a bee sting to me usually means swelling of the are to the size of a cantaloupe. YEP, that is exactly what happened. Huge bummer. So now I have a snotty nose (but no fever), and a huge swollen and very itchy arm. Thanks to JoAnn for her benadryl tabs for the cold, and benadryl cream for the arm. But honestly, I do enjoy our time at each of these wonderful spots, hiking down into chilly lave tube caves at Lava Beds NP (on very hot days - nice), patio boat out on Lake of the Woods, dinner out, music at the lake, pizza another night, kayaking. So all is not lost.

All that craziness behind us and we stay a total of three nights at Lake of the Woods, near Upper Klamath Rec Area and three more at Diamond Lake, just north of Crater Lake. Both are gorgeous spots, great kayaking lakes, beautiful scenery, and offering different experiences at each. We will be back to these wonderful camping spots.

Relaxing at Lake of the Woods, OR

Sunrise off to the side of Mt Thiesen at Diamond Lake, OR

Standing at edge of our campsite at Diamond Lake, OR

A beautiful paddle, with a bit of residual smoke from local fires, at Lake of the Woods, OR

A happy pie-eater, Sage Hen Cafe in Christmas Valley

So on day 9 we arrive at our destination for the Eclipse, Double Diamond Ranch, and the second home of Elaine Bell and John Merritt, Ed's brother and sister-in-law. Let the party begin. Such fun times with everyone there; 9 RV's several tents, and a house full of family and guests from as far away as New York. Our hosts treated us to beautiful views, wildlife, the most exquisite dinners all four nights, and a day full of fun at the world-class full eclipse including a rodeo hosted by Veronica and Chris at neighboring Post to Post Ranch complete with bull and bronco riding, not to mention lots of meals and fun. WOW! It's really hard to describe the whole adventure, but most importantly the actual eclipse, without another whole blog entry. It was eery, magical, awe-inspiring, and gave me goose bumps. This little slice of paradise is 7 miles down a gravel country road outside of Midvale, ID. There isn't much out there, but farms every now and then. But it was a perfect place to watch a solar eclipse in full totality along with about 100+ old and new friends. Wouldn't have missed it for the world. 

A mini-reunion at the eclipse with 6 SVHS Class of 1971 graduates from CA and MT - such fun.

The trip home was still fun, but a bit less exciting. A long drive to Frontier RV Park in Winnemucca NV got us on our way. Then we spent a bit of time in the cool Cabela's store in Boomtown NV, just outside of Reno. Our next two nights spent in Donner Memorial State Park were very nice, with a lovely kayak trip on the lake, and dinner out to celebrate Ed & Jo's anniversary. 

17 days later and we are home, safe and sound, with some new amazing travel memories in the books. And now I get to spend some time with my sweet three grandchildren, who are now 3 (Madeleine), 5 (Gaige), and 6 (Nico). Nico and Madeleine having had birthdays in Kauai and a few days later. In a couple of months, Gaige will be 6 too. My how they are all growing up too fast.

Filling my life with love, laughter, family & friends!
~ Peace and Love ~

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on Facebook, Ravelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and Twitter. Just click the word above to go there.

Monday, August 14, 2017

The Sad Truth of Some Side Effects

Some of the issues with cancer treatment are those we rarely speak about. Like this one

Talk to your oncologist, as hard as it may be, so they are aware of your specific issues. There may be something they can suggest to help.

Filling my life with love, laughter, family & friends!
~ Peace and Love ~

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on Facebook, Ravelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and Twitter. Just click the word above to go there.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Oncology Checkup & Wonderful Kauai Vacation

Today was my bi-monthly port draw, labs, and checkup. Feeling good so expecting a good report.feeling optimistic at Redwood Regional Cancer 

And as expected - Very good appointment with Dr Ian Anderson this morning. CBC looks good. All my vitals are great. We talked a little bit about the feet issues I've had and it sounds like we can make adjustments with the Xeloda, if needed, since I seem to be doing so well on it, so I can stay on it as long as possible for maintenance. That was refreshing to hear. 

I will have blood work in a month and then a new CT Scan and Oncology checkup mid-October.

But the fun news is the most wonderful vacation we just had at Kiahuna Plantation on Kauai the past two weeks. It was the most wonderful trip with our two daughters and most of their families, including the 3 adorable grand children. We swam at the beach and at the ocean, snorkeled, played on the water slide and the beach, ate out and in, toured Kilauea lighthouse, danced the hula and saw three amazing shows, one being the most spectacular Auli'i Luau at the Sheraton in Poipu, just a few steps from our condo. We had ice cream, shave ice, smoothies, and lots of fish. We saw Monk Seals and Sea Turtles up close and personal; not to mention two Manta Rays, giant frogs (about 10 of them one evening), spiny sea stars, hermit crabs, sea cucumbers geckos and anoles. Oh and amazing smell of flowers, lots of birds, and chickens galore. 

It was the trip of a lifetime with memories for all to cherish for years to come.

Here is a snippet of photos of the trip. Just click the link. Facebook tells me that even if you aren't a Facebook member, you will be able to view this photo album. Enjoy!

Filling my life with love, laughter, family & friends!
~ Peace and Love ~

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on Facebook, Ravelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and Twitter. Just click the word above to go there.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

And the Saga Continues, But in a Different Direction

But this time it is not me, but someone very near and dear to my heart; our sweet daughter, Sarah.

I've been writing this post for several months now as things keep getting updated, new tests are performed, and Sarah wasn't quite ready for me to post it. But now she gave the all-clear, so I will bring things up to date.

Sarah was diagnosed with Conjunctival Lymphoma a few months ago, but the tests and appointments to get to this diagnosis have been going on since early January 2017, and continued until early May, when one of the last tests occurred, an ERG.

Thank God the cancer is localized (only in the right eye conjunctiva), but it took a while to confirm this. The official diagnosis - "Stage 1E or T1b lymphoma of conjunctiva palpebral with fornix". 

They have also found a pupillary defect from all of this testing as well. And that is another more involved rare situation that I will go into later on in this post.

This all began when Sarah had a routine eye exam and the, at which time she was told there was an anomaly, but it probably wasn't cancer. The Opthamologist sent her to an Ophthalmic Oncologist for a biopsy to be sure.  They wanted her to take this next step. I went with her to this next appointment. One look at her eye from this doctor, after an exam, then photos, she clearly stated she was confident it was Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. My heart sank as we sat there in the exam room where the doctor had just taken a biopsy of my sweet girl's eye. Even though biopsy results would not be back for a good week, she felt certain from her exam. The doctor gave us a good idea of what the next steps would be, said it was most likely a low grade B-cell lymphoma, slow growing, and treatable with good success. 

But the doctor said that Sarah needed to go through a series of tests to determine if the Lymphoma was anywhere else in her body. This thought alone was very frightening. THANKFULLY, the CT Scan came back normal, and the lab results also showed no other signs of lymphoma, other than in her right eye. 

During all this time, Sarah had a visual field exam to her eye which showed vision loss but other exams couldn't explain why, which perplexed the specialists she was seeing. The structure of the eye looked healthy. So they recommended a brain MRI to see if there was optic nerve damage or other evidence of tumors in the eye orbit or brain. Now this gave us all a moment of great pause and worry. The report on the MRI finally came back 10 days later as normal, at the same time the visual field test was redone and showed much better results, so we thought the first test was skewed. But a week later, they performed yet a third vision field test. This one was a bit better than the worst of the previous two, but nowhere as good as the second and best one. Really? This is the test where they have you look into a screen and tell them when you see the light dots appear. So it's not the most scientific test, depending on how sharp you may be one day from the other, etc.

The several weeks up to this point were quite nerve wracking and worrisome. It was odd to be feeling a bit good about the outcome at this point, since having no cancer would be much better. But considering the fact that all the other tests were normal, we were given a moment for a sigh of relief.

After those additional range of vision tests to both eyes, followed by a second MRI, with focus on the orbit (eye), and Sarah was almost ready for the stint of radiation to the right eye that we were told would cure the lymphoma. All this several weeks after the radiation simulation was performed back with the hopes she could start her treatment in March. 

The simulation is the process whereby they set her up for the radiation -- they create a mask that fits snugly around her head and face, keeping it perfectly still and in place for the radiation. There will also be a tungsten contact-type piece that will be used to protect her optic nerve during the radiation. And the radiation oncologist will create a gummy-bear like material to be placed on the eye surface to trick the radiation to think her eyeball surface is higher than it really is. This is done so that the radiation hits the surface eyelid tissue, rather than deeper into the orbit's surface. Sarah is being so patient with all she has had to endure. The waiting seems to always be the hardest.

Initially Sarah was told the radiation treatment would be four weeks (20 days) of radiation to her eye, but was later reduced to three weeks, 5-days a week radiation.  Then the plan will be check ups quarterly for a period of time, followed with annual exams forever, all to double check that this does not return, or appear somewhere else in her body.

Kaiser contracts with Queen of the Valley Hospital in Napa as one of the locations for this radiation treatment, so that is where Sarah went for her radiation, which she finished up on May 24th.

The mention of Saga in the title is probably a bit more clear now. Here Sarah is 6-weeks post radiation and she just completed the next step I mentioned earlier and will details next.

During these last few months, it became apparent that the visual field loss was due to several anti-bodies that Sarah's body was creating in response to the lymphoma, and a special blood test confirmed this. The problem, though, is that the antibodies were working in over-drive and actually damaging her retina, its called autoimmune retinopathy (AIR).  One of the recommended treatments for this, although this is very rare and there are no medical papers on it, is an infusion called IVIG (Intravenous Immunoglobulin).  She is very young for this rare condition, as it usually presents in 50-60 year olds.

Immunoglobulin is part of your blood’s plasma. It has antibodies in it to fight germs or disease. When people donate blood, this part can be separated out. Then it can be administered through a vein in the arm, or IV. Sarah just completed 5 long days of these infusions at Kaiser Vallejo last week with her last infusion on Friday, July 14th. I was happy to be able to support her this time, as she took me to the majority of my infusions a year go. And her hubby was there with her on Friday. She tolerated the infusions pretty well, until the third day when she came down with a bad headache and some nausea, probably as a result from the headache. So the infusion nurses slowed down the IV drip for her final two days, and she felt well enough to get through the week, but still not too chipper. She and her little guy came out to the Dallara Family Reunion with Mark and I on Saturday (see photos below), and you could see she didn't have much energy, which was totally expected. On the way home she did not feel well at all so they spent the night with us. Finally by midnight the headache subsided and I think after the overwhelmingly hot weekend we just had (104 degrees), she is starting to feel a bit better. But her little guy had a blast at the reunion enjoying the wading pool and getting to know a bunch of new cousins about his age, as did Alura's little ones too.

So that's where we are today!

It will be a matter of how Sarah feels the IVIG worked and whether it stabilizes her vision and prevents further loss -- that is the plan, and hope upon hopes, it works. She can repeat one day of the IVIG per month if she feels she is getting benefit from it.

It is my wish, hope and prayer that she continues to feel better, and sometime soon gets over the fatigue from the radiation, and any side effects from the IVIG. AND that any future treatments, go well and MOST IMPRORTANTLY, that all are very successful in stopping any further vision loss and lymphoma. It is my mother's wish for my sweet daughter. 

Meanwhile, thank you to her sweet husband and mother-in-law for their love and support during this process, and for all her supporting family and friends. It certainly takes a village of love, support, and compassion -- If I have learned nothing else from my ongoing journey, it is this.

Trying to keep smiling.

Getting some knitting in before the headaches and fatigue set in.

 Some of the fun times from the Dallara Family Reunion 2017, 
this past Saturday.
Just had to finish with happy stuff.

Curry cousins

Little cousins getting to know each other and having a blast
The original Dallara Banner artists.

More cousin fun

Getting to meet and know a new cousin

Dad's sweet cousin, Al. One of the last of his era.

My sweet daughter and grandson.

Filling my life with love, laughter, family & friends!
~ Peace and Love ~

B  E  L  I  E  V  E


THANKS for visiting!        I look forward to your comment.

You can also find me on Facebook, Ravelry, and just occasionally on Instagram and Twitter. Just click the word above to go there.